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I've been watching 'Baby Story' on TLC and this last one today really hit home for me and it just made me cry. Haa i feel this ladies pain, in labor for 25 hours and only at 4cm and just feeling hopeless, overwhelmed and extremely exhausted. She wanted to go drug free but at 25 hours got an epidural. When it's your first and you feel those contractions they hurt so bad and you think surely this means you are close to over because they get so intense so fast and when you find out, nope you are at just the beginning and it's going to get 10x worse... it's overwhelming and you feel like you are going to lose it.

I'm sure to a certain degree i have forgotten the extremeness of contractions and labor but i still remember most of it and it's not something i'm looking forward to. I could live without feeling that pain again. But i also remember that feeling when the baby pops out and the relief and the joy!

I'm scared about the impending labor but the actual delivery i'm looking forward to. I can't wait to see my little baby but it also is very scary!

I'm hoping this time i will be able to do better on pain management. I hope that being in my own home will help me. I hope that Hubby will be able to maybe participate a little more... like maybe catch the baby? I know that freaks him out but i'm hoping that happens cause if this is our last then i want him to be able to experience that.

Today the girls were taking balls and sticking it up their shirts and saying that it was a baby in his stomach. They would take turns with the baby belly and they would take turns kissing each others baby belly and rubbing it and going 'Awwww'. It was so cute!