.

I haven't came out and said it before but 4 kids is hard work. I feel this go around has hit me a lot harder then 3 kids. I've heard so many say that 3 was crazy and after that its a peice of cake. Well my midwife warned me that she thinks 4 is the crazy time. I would have to agree. 

It's like i wish I remembered how I did it before, how I survived? It feels like I'm in a constant zombie stage and can't get anything done. It seems much worse then with #3 but maybe i am just forgetting?

I'm trying really hard not to wish the tiny infant stage was over, because i do love the cuddles and everything and plus he is my last little baby that I will have but on the other hand i feel strapped to this chair with chains and deadbolts >_< which stresses me out :(

I know it will all level out. Soon Reuben will be bigger and it will be easier to set him down and for me to get up and get things done.... But frankly it feels like that will never come and when it does come, what emotional state will i be in? Lol

I keep telling myself i am lucky and i know i am. I know Reuben is a relatively easy baby and I'm blessed to have fairly well behaved older kids. I know i am blessed to have kids that will help me clean and actually enjoy it. That has helped so often!

So I shouldn't really complain, and i feel bad every time that i do.